[DAWAH NIGHT – REPORT]: Tying the knot of Marriage in Islam
Reported by : Oyetunji Shukrah, Wednesday August 9, 2023.
It was a beautiful evening at Obakekere masjid and a lot of Muslim youths were gathered, with bones tensed and muscles clenched, awaiting the arrival of the lecturer. The lecturer arrived and did a good job delivering to the hungry youths on the topic, “Tying the knot of Marriage in Islam”.
The lecturer started by describing the two kinds of women a man can marry: the one who is married for the sake of love and the one who is married because she can give birth. He gave the fact that to know a woman who can give birth is by looking through her family to know if they have lots of progenies.
The benefits of knot tying
Some of the benefits of knot tying in Islam are:
- It allows us to follow the Sunnah of our prophet prophet and that of his companions.
- It helps us to lower our gaze
- It helps us secure our private part.
- It curbs the spread of bad behavior among us
- It allows us to produce large families.
- It gives rewards to us as couples.
- It allows us to love what the prophet love
There are also knots that are prohibited for us from being tied. Some of them are:
- A Married person, except he or she is legally divorced.
- People who have been living together before aqdun-nikkah
pillars of Knot tying
Knot tying, according to the lecturer, is joining a man and a woman together in order to enjoy themselves and to bring families together. Pillars of knot tying are:
- The acceptance of the proposal by the woman
- The waliyu of the lady says he/she has given her to you (the man). This can be said in any language but it is better to be in Arabic
- Witnesses from both sides i.e from the man and the lady’s side
- The woman’s mahr
What do we search for in a potential spouse?
There are four basics things to look for before marrying a sister which are Religion, Behavior, family and Money.
Other Signs to search for before tying a knot (with a sister) are:
She has to be a MUSLIMAH, be lovable, be a maiden, be beautiful, submissive and trustworthy.
When the lecturer mentioned that to know if a woman is beautiful is when her husband smiles anytime he sees her, the audience smiled.
What does a sister search for in a potential spouse?
Moving to the brothers, these are what to search for before marrying a brother:
- He should be a religious person
- Someone who knows how to recite the Quran even if it’s small a small portion.
- He should not be a Musician
- He should be financially stable
- He should have sources of income
- He should be Caring and this comprises many things some of which are; he should be able to attend to her needs, he should ask for the woman’s wellbeing and ensure he puts smiles on his wife’s face
- He should be on the same track with her in terms of religion, family, wealth and ideologies.
What can be given to a woman for marriage?
It is better to give whatever one can afford to avoid unnecessary debt.
In conclusion, the lecturer advised the males to ensure they have what can be used to cater for their wives and themselves after marriage.